Living la Vida Ridiculous

Quotes

2010-04-28T09:26:00.001-06:00

I love quotes, especially when they appear seemingly from nowhere, at the perfect time, and jump off the page at you. They attach themselves to my brain like an octopus tentacle might.

"Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel."

This quote jumped out at me this morning, and it made me appreciate the fact that I'm mostly a Thinker, and I can find humor in anything. Even the dark parts of life.

I just spent a long weekend on a positively lovely vacation with 8 fantastic women. We ate good food, drank cocktails, lounged on the beach, walked, swam, talked, talked, and talked. It was so good for all of our souls.

Upon return to work yesterday, I found out there would be "an announcement" today, we should "stay focused on our projects" and continue "business as usual."

The irony of the timing was indisputable, so I waited till I got home, and then laughed. Life takes such amazing twists and turns, you just never know what's coming. I choose to find humor in that...and "choose" is the key word.

Without laughter, I have nothing.

Happy Birthday, Mimi

2010-03-01T20:21:00.004-07:00

My grandmother had her 99th birthday last week. She's raised 5 children of her own and has 10 grandkids and many great-grandkids.

She's been alive 99 years. 99. What a cool number.

If I live to be her age, that means I have 59 years to go! I'm not even halfway there yet!

I'm just amazed by that.

Happy Birthday, Mimi !!

Band Concerts

2010-02-24T15:47:00.003-07:00

I'm talkin' about the Middle School variety --- not Sting or U2. My youngest has a band concert tonight, and I'm home with bronchitis. I desperately want to go to the concert, because they really *are* entertaining, but my ears are sensitive.

I'm wondering if it would be rude to sit in the back with earplugs. :-) Or maybe I'll just stay home and watch more of the Olympics.

Speaking of the Olympics, when do they end? I think everyone I know is suffering from sleep deprivation. Despite the fact that so many of us have DVRs, we're watching on time delay, and the results are posted online (with lots of videos) the following day, *nobody* wants to go to bed and miss a thing! It's quite funny if you think about it...

Google Buzz: Privacy Fail

2010-02-13T10:45:00.003-07:00

I was initially excited to see the new Google Buzz appear in my gmail and wrote some silly posts about it with my friends. I was curious, as always, so I started poking around. Interestingly, and much like Facebook, I could see who my friends were following, and who *their* friends were following. I thought nothing of this until I saw a friend's link to a blog entitled "F*ck you, Google" which admonished Google for setting these friends up without permission.

The author was physically abused by a former boyfriend, and he was suddenly a follower in her Buzz. All because they had exchanged emails.

Then I realized that anyone could choose to follow me without my notification or permission. Not sure I like this...

I clicked the "turn off Buzz" button at the bottom of the gmail page and the Buzz folder went away. Am I off the Buzz grid? Not quite!

It turns out that there are some pretty detailed instructions for completely opting out which haven't been well-publicized yet. A friend emailed them to me, and I'll link to them at the bottom of this post.

I've been following Internet privacy for a decade. Initially because I was collecting usage data at work that was illegal to collect, unless we called it "Research & Development" ~~ which it certainly was, so we were in the clear. Our privacy attorney was still pretty squeamish about it though, so we stopped. That program has snowballed into the bandwidth monitoring and limiting program at the US's biggest broadband provider. All because I said "hey, why don't we...?"

I'd like to publicly thank Google for giving us something newsworthy to follow when we aren't watching the Olympics!! I have a feeling we're going to see some new laws and some very quick backpedaling by the big G.

The links I promised, in case you want to opt out too:

http://www.scotxblog.com/legal-tech/gmails-turn-off-buzz-still-does-not-turn-off-buzz-heres-how-to-really-do-it/

http://mail.google.com/support/bin/answer.py?answer=175004#off

Short and sweet

2010-02-09T14:06:00.002-07:00

I've been reading more blogs lately and recently realized that I read short blogs and skip the longer ones. I either don't have the time or attention span to read the whole thing in one sitting. I'm perfectly capable of reading long blogs, I just don't.

So I've decided that I'm going to write shorter blogs more often. I'm not going to wait for something funny to happen, like I have been. Apparently my life isn't as funny as I thought it was last year. :-)

Soccer season starts in two weeks, I'll probably encounter more ridiculousness there...

On Being a Homeowner

2010-02-04T11:34:00.005-07:00

Last week there was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad smell eminating from my basement. At first it reminded me of rotten laundry, so I checked the laundry room. All clean. I thought "maybe it's broccoli," so I checked the fridge. Nothing but fresh organic broccoli straight from Boulder's finest. Hmmm.

Then I remembered a similar smell a few months ago, when I found dead mice in the basement window well. Armed with a flashlight, I checked all the window wells. Nothing.

Uh oh - could it be gas? I looked at the dog, and asked him. Do you have gas? No, not that kind of gas! The kind that heats our house! He just stared at me with those beautiful puppy eyes, wondering when I was going to FEED HIM. Next move: get 12 year old to march around the house with me trying to find it. We couldn't figure it out, so I naturally blamed the kids. Or the dog. We turned on all the exhaust fans in the house and called a friend who is a fireman. He recommended calling 911 and the energy company to make sure it wasn't gas.

I have to admit that it was kind of exciting to have a fire truck pull up to the house with all of its lights flashing, and then watch 4 hunky firefighters come to the door. They went to the basement with their gas- and CO-detectors, and found nothing dangerous. One suggested the smell was sewage. I nearly fainted.

About an hour later the guy from the energy company showed up (if it were gas, we might have exploded by now! I exclaimed to my son, which might have been a poor choice in exclamations...) and told me there was nothing dangerous. He recommended pouring water down the floor drain. Duh, why didn't I think of that?

Later that night I was awakened by a rotten, terrible, foul, even worse smell. I was genuinely beginning to think there was a dead body of some sort under the basement floor. I was nearing a breakdown, so the next morning I begged for help on my facebook page, and had no less than 7 offers for help. In general, my friends have some pretty impressive husbands.

I'll make this long story even longer. Dan was the first to arrive, and within FIVE MINUTES had determined that the sump pump was broken and there was some pretty rancid water sitting in the pit. We poured a little bleach in there, and the smell was gone. GONE. Internet, this was nothing short of amazing. I was seriously contemplating selling my house to get away, but who would buy a stinky house? Problem solved.

Fast forward a few days: Dan was just here again, to clean up some trees he saw growing in one of the window wells (and they do qualify as trees now, as they're getting large), and get the specs for a new sump pump. He found some roots in the sump pit, cleaned those up, and voila! the sump pump works again. It's the Little Pump That Could. It's going on 10 years old, and I love it.

Who knew all this could happen. I've been a homeowner for nearly 20 years and learn something every year. I've considered dating a handyman just for the benefits, but I've decided that it's much smarter to have friends with handy husbands. Then I get 7 offers for help instead of just one.

Bottom line: I love my friends. I hate aspen tree roots. The trees are beautiful, but what a nuisance. Who planted those things, anyway...

So that was pretty weird....

2009-10-11T19:31:00.002-06:00

Imagine me, a 40-year old mom of 3, standing in the house listening for a car horn. Instead of the car, my cell phone rings.

"I'm waiting for you!" says the voice on the phone. Excited, I say goodbye to my youngest son and to the dog. I grab my coat and purse, and run to the front door.

Once out the door, I stand on the front step, stare at the car and driver, and laugh. Because at this point, it's either laugh or cry, baby.

Why, you ask? Why is she laughing? Is it a hot date? A long lost friend? A limo waiting to take her to a fantastic concert?

None of the above. It's my daughter. She's almost 16, and driving me to the store in HER VERY OWN CAR.

Very very weird. And very very wonderful. :-)

Heard in my house today...

2009-09-21T20:36:00.001-06:00

"Are you driving me to school today? I don't have any long pants." ~ said the 12 year old because it was cold and rainy. The answer: no.

"Yeah, mom, you could pass for an Algebra teacher." ~ said the 12 year old when I commented that his teacher was smart. His head exploded when I told him I used to teach Calc I and Calc II

"Geez, the show is setting up the plot for the next season! Come on!" ~ said the 15 year old to her younger brother

"Yes, I really really do want the BLUE one" ~ me, when car shopping online

Steak is good food

2009-08-31T18:16:00.004-06:00

I took my youngest son to a soccer game on Saturday that was just about two hours from our house. That's two hours, each way, in the mountains, over two passes. It was a long haul for a soccer game, but a beautiful drive in beautiful weather without traffic. Sometimes I like a little road trip to clear my head.

Oh yeah, but I had a chatty 12-year old with me, so there was no clearing of my head. There was lots and lots of chatter about school and soccer and loud Beatles sing-alongs. Yes, I sang too. Fortunately his band teacher taught him a new trumpet exercise that involves holding a pen between your lips. Silently. (Have I mentioned that I love this new band teacher? She just gets better and better!)

During the game I texted a few friends to get restaurant recommendations. I figured we drove all the way there for a soccer game, we should probably do something else while we were up there. There are so many great places to eat in Vail and Beaver Creek, we should go to one!! Yes!

I got several good recommendations, one of which was for a place called the Minturn Country Club. You get to choose your own steak and they instruct you how to cook it on their indoor grills. Cool! A steak dinner and cooking lesson all in one! I was so excited I couldn't stand it!

And...This is where it gets ridiculous.

After the game I bought popsicles for both of us from the ice cream truck (he earned one, he scored a goal!) and told my son the plan.

"Mom, I hate steak. You know this." he said with all seriousness. I tried not to show my extreme disappointment. I figured that he just played over an hour of competitive soccer and should have a vote too. Sometimes I hate being fair! I told him about the side dishes. I told him about the desserts. I did everything but stand on my head. He very slowly and somberly shook his head. Not interested. No dice, no sale.

So we booted up the GPS and he started searching for a place. His whole face LIT UP and he said "There's a Denny's just 2.7 miles from here! I love Denny's!"

It's true, my kids love Denny's. I think I heard a little voice inside my head say "No steak for you!" I figured what the hell, and we went there. He did score a goal, ya know.

Post script: I was so relieved to discover later that night (looking online) that the Country Club didn't open till 5, and we were long gone by then. I'll have to learn to grill a flawless steak some other time...sans kids!!

Back to School!

2009-08-27T21:06:00.003-06:00

Tonight I went to Back to School Night (otherwise known as BTSN) with my 7th grader, and it was fun! He's starting at a new school - the neighborhood school. It's a beautiful, recently built facility. The staff all seemed so....happy. We've spent about a million years at another school (a fantastic charter school in a really really old building, with almost no budget and many great teachers but a few surly ones too). In fact, I've been driving children to said charter school since 1995, if you can believe that. My daughter just started 10th grade there, so we still like the school, it's just time to try out the new neighborhood school!

Tangent: During the BTSN speeches, I started having unpleasant flashbacks to my own teaching experience. I spent one semester teaching high school math, 5 years ago, it was wretched and we'll never speak of it again. (Okay, maybe we will, because it would have been a GREAT time of my life to blog. I even took notes based on the premise that I might write a book someday. Not kidding.)

Back to the subject at hand...my 7th grader is totally excited about starting a new grade at a new school. He's in band class with the most fabulous teacher (and he looks like a mini version of her husband, so much so that she showed me a picture! Freaky! I told her we'll send him to HER house when we get tired of him.)

He's excited about meeting new friends. I've gotten a complete review each day of who he met, how he felt walking to school, what they ate for lunch, and how much he loves the new adventure. He's sitting at the dining room table with me doing his Algebra homework aloud. He just said "this is really helpful, thank you." We're adding positive numbers and negative numbers, and he's loving it.

Did you hear that? He loves the new adventure! I think he just might be my kid. I'll have to tell the band teacher.

Endnote: People, this is SO much better than my formal teaching experience. I get to drink champagne while I teach. Score!

The dietary habits of dogs

2009-08-26T15:11:00.011-06:00

My dog eats rocks. There, I said it. He does. And I just can't get too choked up about it (pun intended) anymore. He might just be too stupid to live.

He likes to play with them, roll them around in his mouth, sort of like kids do with a jaw breaker candy. Sometimes he'll drop the rock on the floor in front of him and watch it intently, waiting for it to run away like a mouse would.

After play time is over, he looks at me and "gulp" - the rock is gone.

What else does he eat? Socks. Kitchen towels. Sticks. Anything wooden. Blankets. Bones. Hamburgers, up to 5 at a time, if left unattended on the kitchen table. He confiscated a lemon one day, thinking it was a yellow ball, and lost interest as soon as he tasted its lemony-goodness. Perhaps I should put lemon juice on the family heirlooms? There are WAY too many rocks in the yard to spray.

It's like having a fast, hungry toddler in the house. He hasn't needed surgery yet (knock on wood) to retrieve any unwieldy objects from his gut, but I'm expecting that someday he might.

Until then, we'll try to keep the bad stuff out of reach.

12 year olds who cook

2009-08-26T15:11:00.010-06:00

One of the careers my youngest wants to pursue is being a chef. He also wants to be a scientist and a doctor and an engineer....and a chef! He just can't decide in which order he should try them all.

I remember being told "you can be anything you want, you'll just have to work hard" by my mom when I was around his age, or maybe a little bit older. I've since shared this thought with my kids and several of my friends, and like most things, some of them love it, and some of them immediately list the things I *can't* be. I can't be an astronaut, because my vision is imperfect. I can't join the military because I'm too old. I can't be a Scandinavian man, and I can't be 6' tall.

Some days it's so tiresome to hear people utter the word "can't." I find myself actually avoiding people who focus on what they can't do. It sounds like such a difficult way to go through life.

I prefer to focus on what we CAN do. Like bake chocolate chip cookies, or crescent rolls, without assistance.

I love it when my son cooks for me. :-)

Time for a new adventure!

2009-08-26T11:37:00.000-06:00

My life is pretty ridiculous - in a good way - most of the time. I'm a recently-turned-40 suburban single soccer/basketball mom who lives with 3 kids (2 teens and one "almost" teen) and a dog. There is no husband in this house, in fact there hasn't been for ten years. The kids go stay with their dad once or twice a week, which is really ideal for all of us. We've settled into a really good life that involves lots of laughter, a few arguments, the occasional spill, and a fair amount of barking. We're working on the barking.

I catch myself being amazed/amused by something unusual each and every day, so I thought I'd see how well I could put it into writing. Hopefully it'll be enlightening to someone, somewhere, sometime. There are so many ridiculous things that happen each day and I sometimes wonder ~ do other people notice them too?

Today I'm pleased that I decided to work from home without even realizing my son would need a ride to soccer practice - something I wouldn't be able to accomplish had I gone to the office as planned. I'm also thoroughly enjoying the quiet in the house, now that the kids have gone back to school and I kicked the dog out (he's safe in the backyard) for a bit.

Today, me and my coffee are working at home. Life is good.